I’ve always thought that the most random encounters tend to have the heaviest significance in the grand scheme of things. Sure,  what seems to be an inane moment in the past, sometimes, tend to make the biggest impact to your future; but a lot of times, I feel that there are these moments that are out of your ordinary routine that seem to only happen due to some external manipulation from up above. The former seems to be the case at yesterday’s impromptu career talk on a random from duty day.

Having a rare free hour to spare until an evening lecture at a University restaurant, I decided to get out of the hospital and walk around to clear my head. My favorite spot as of late is a park-fountain close by, which usually is just the right amount of crowded, enough for me to think and people-watch. As I was walking, I heard my name being called from a nearby building. It turns out that my good friend, Eli, quite at random as well, felt the urge to go to that particular bathroom (which he DOES NOT frequent) and also saw me. He invited me to sit in to a class that he’s on his way to and to speak a little just to picque his students’ interest.

It turns out that his class is in my old pre-med building. He was actually teaching a bunch of second year pharmacy students, whom he has said are some of the most straightforward and compliant of those he has handled (and some of the most grade-conscious). I got introduced as a special guest, a part of a pet project where they invite interesting people and pick their brains on some relevant issues that they might have. Anyway, I thought I was going to say a few words, answer some questions, then sit in for the rest of the period. But I ended up occupying the entire period. Hahahaha. It seems that the students didn’t really mind and looked interested, I hope.

It was oddly therapeutic, though, talking about your job and your “life,” to a bunch of strangers who didn’t know any better. I shared the usual script your typical (traumatized) doctor would relate to an aspiring student: the long hours, the endless years of studying, the sacrifices you have to make, the challenges (academic) that you have to hurdle through, and how being a doctor is an extremely thankless job. “But the rewards are of another kind and of a greater magnitude.” I got asked about turning points in my career, acceptance of these sacrifices, and regrets I may have had during my med school and premed years.

But one question did catch me off-guard. “After all the hardships, the busy schedule, and the stress, can you say that you’re happy with what you’re doing right now?” It was a sincere question from one student who was quietly listening all throughout the session. I’ve never given happiness too much thought these past few days what with so many things happening but it was relevant and timely for me.

I staggered with my initial response (and I looked a bit unconvincing when I began answering hahaha….but it was sincere). See, during my first few years of training, I dreaded going to the hospital since each day seems to be a never-ending cycle of personal inadequacy: how I get reprimanded/shouted at for another thing I missed in the management at a patient, how i barely finish doing my rounds, how I barely see my family and friends, how I disappoint myself, et cetera. But something eventually changed and now I’m always excited to come to the hospital: to see my patients help them get better, teach my interns, see my crush (haha), and LEARN. “And if for some reason you don’t feel that way about your life, you create your own happiness. It’s all in your mindset, afterall,” I told them.

I really don’t know how this encounter would fare in the grand scheme of the universe. I don’t even know who benefitted more from this encounter–from-duty-me (who needed a bit of a pick-me-up after the stress of the week), these lost and confused students, or Eli whose lecture powerpoint miraculously didn’t work for that day. But I’m sure that this is one strange bookmark in the story of our lives. Maybe one of those kids is currently confused about his/her life and I inadvertently help make up his/her mind and that I would encounter that person a few years from now? I dunno. Hahahaha.